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The Privacy Lawyer: The Checklist For
Cybercommunications
The right--and wrong--ways to make sure your
E-mail gets its message across.
By Parry Aftab,
InformationWeek
Oct. 25, 2004
URL:
http://www.informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=50500405
Recently, as part of our prelaunch of a new Web site using Marvel's superhero
characters,
InternetSuperHeroes.org (I'll share more about this exciting project over
the coming months), I wrote two articles for my "Ms. Parry's Guide To Correct
Netiquette" that received a great deal of attention. When rereading them, I
realized that they apply at least as well to the business world as to children
and their home computers.
Because so many problems arise from quick and thoughtless E-communications,
the program is called "Take 5!" to remind people to think before clicking send
and to walk away from the computer if they are emotional, angry, or reacting to
something online. Taking the five minutes to cool down or gain perspective on
the issue will often help avoid doing things we wish we hadn't.
So, with a few changes (such as removing references to parents and teachers),
the article below should provide business users with some appropriate Netiquette
tips, as well. (If you have children, especially between the ages of 11 and 14,
you may want to visit InternetSuperHeroes.org and go over these articles in
their original form with your kids. And make sure they know they can trust you
not to overreact when things go wrong online.)
The Take 5! Checklist
It's so easy for people to misunderstand E-mails and cybercommunications. We
have to be very careful to make them clear and help others to understand what we
really mean.
So, before sending that E-mail or posting on that Web site or bulletin board,
think before you click "send." Reread what you were going to send. If it meets
any of the following factors, don't send it until you fix them. And if you can't
fix them, maybe you shouldn't send the E-mail at all.
· Start by
making sure you're sending things to the right place, that it arrives there, and
that the right person gets it.
Is your message addressed to the right person? Are you sure? Have you checked
the spelling or screen name carefully? Is he or she in your address book or on
your buddy list already? The easiest way to make sure you have the correct
screen name or E-mail address is to save it automatically when someone sends you
something. People change their E-mail addresses and screen names often, so make
sure you're using the most up-to-date one.
Also, don't be so sure that your E-mail makes it to the person you sent it
to. With so many junk E-mails and viruses being sent these days, most Internet
service providers are using spam-blocking technology to block and filter
messages they think may be spam. Many innocent messages are caught in spam
filters and never get delivered. Some businesses and individuals also are using
their own anti-spam software that may block your E-mail. Remind your contacts to
add your E-mail address and screen name to their approved lists so that you
won't be blocked by accident and warn them in advance before using a new address
or screen name. Depending on which E-mail service or application you use, you
may be able to track your message and see if it's ever delivered, and sometimes
if it's read. It's good Netiquette to ask recipients if they're OK with your
sending something to track whether they've opened or read an E-mail before using
such technology, though. (And make sure the person you're corresponding with
isn't blocked by your E-mail filters or spam blockers, either.)
· Is your
message worth sending? Don't waste peoples' time or bandwidth with junk, chain
E-mails, and false rumors.
Some of your friends and people you know love getting lots of E-mail, instant
messages, and jokes. Others don't. Before you start sending lots of jokes and
attachments to people, find out if it's OK. And if people tell you they're busy,
respect their time. It never hurts to ask first. That way, people will look
forward to getting your E-mails and cybercommunications instead of ignoring
them.
Don't send chain E-mails. They clog up E-mail servers. And they sometimes
scare people.
Also, never send anything you haven't confirmed as being true. Many hoaxes
and cyber-rumors are sent by people who blindly forwarded them on, without
checking to see if they're true. (You can read more about urban legends, hoaxes,
and cyber-rumors and how to check if they're true at our "Truth or Hype" section
at
www.aftab.com.)
· Proofread
and spell-check your E-mails and make sure the recipient knows who you are.
Many messages are never understood or are misunderstood because people left
out words, or said things unclearly, or misspelled words. While your E-mails
don't have to be formal works of art, you should make them clear. If they're
important enough to send, they're important enough to be understood. The rules
for instant messaging are different, and more grammar mistakes and spelling
errors are accepted there.
Also make sure that you reread what you are sending to make sure it says what
you want it to say. If something could be misunderstood, or understood two
different ways, either rewrite it or use an emoticon--that is, a "smiley face"
or the like--to let them know which meaning you used.
Also make sure that you sign your E-mails and cybercommunications with a name
the recipient will recognize, if you're not using your normal screen name. Don't
give away personal information, but telling them that this is a new account or
screen name and your old one was [fill in the blank] helps your message get
read, instead of trashed. Putting that in the subject line may help.
· Don't attack
others online or say anything that could be considered insulting or
controversial.
Until you get to know someone very well, it's best to stay away from
controversial topics, like politics, religion, race, sex, nationalism, war,
special physical or mental limitations, money, and gender-based issues. Once you
get to know each other well enough to know what's acceptable, you can get into
these topics online--but even then, be very careful. Most cyberproblems start
when people are talking about these and similar topics.
And be especially careful when dealing with people form other cultures and
countries online. What may be perfectly acceptable in the United States may not
be acceptable in Japan, or England, or Hong Kong, or New Zealand.
If someone tells you that you hurt their feelings, find out how and
apologize. Let them know when you did things without meaning to. If they lash
out at you, thinking you did it on purpose, before you attack them back, try
explaining that it was accidental.
Don't use all capital letters (considered shouting online) and be careful
about using bad language or being provocative. Don't intentionally say anything
to hurt some else's feelings or invade their privacy online or offline. And
always scan your system for viruses and malicious code so that you don't send a
virus by accident to someone else. (Use a good antivirus program on anything you
receive or download to make sure you don't pick up any viruses.)
· Don't
forward other people's E-mails without their permission, or share their personal
information.
Sometimes, without realizing it, we copy someone new on an E-mail thread. It
might contain personal information or a personal communication that someone else
shared with only you three levels down and you didn't realize that you were now
allowing others to read it. Either delete all but the most recent message when
forwarding it, or reread the older threaded messages before forwarding to make
sure nothing personal is in those messages. Otherwise, private things may slip
through.
· Are you
angry when you are writing a message?
If you're writing the E-mail, IM, or post when you're angry, review it
carefully. Also take the time to cool down before sending it.
Are you replying to something that's designed to insult you, flame you,
cyberbully you, or harass you? If so, think again. These things go away much
faster if you don't reply at all. The person sending them is looking for a
reaction. They soon get tired and go away if they don't get any.
· Don't reply
to spam, even to ask to be removed from a mailing list.
Spammers buy lists of millions of E-mail addresses and IM screen names.
Harvesting programs gather up these addresses wherever they can find them
online, in chat rooms, on message boards, from chain E-mails, and registrations.
Many of these addresses are old and don't work. If you reply, one of two things
happens. You either have sent a reply to a fake address spammers have used to
send the E-mails from, or you have now let them know that your address is a good
one and you will receive many more messages. They will even sell your address
for more money, since they can now promise that you have read the spam messages
you received.
While your E-mail service provider may ask you to forward spam to their TOS
(terms of service violations address), you shouldn't bother. Instead, use a good
anti-spam program.
· How private
is the message you are sending? Are you willing to have others read this message
or forward it to others without your permission?
E-mails get misdelivered all the time. And sometimes the people we send them
to share our communications with others without asking us first. (This includes
logs of our chat-room discussions and of instant messaging.) The courts allow
others to read your E-mails under special circumstances. Don't ever say anything
in a cybercommunication you wouldn't be willing to allow someone else to read.
We always tell people not to say anything they wouldn't write on a postcard they
send through the mail. If you're going to share something very private, it's
best to use the phone or person-to-person communications (obviously, only with
people you know in real life).
When anyone applies for jobs or internships the recruiter will sometimes
"Google them" first--that is, run a Web search. We've seen many cases where old
messages people posted when they were much younger and didn't realize would turn
up in an online search cost them an internship position or a job. (It's always a
good idea to "Google yourself" regularly and make sure nothing turns up that you
would be embarrassed about or that gives away personal information about you
online.)
Think Before You Click "Send"
One of the biggest problems online is that no one thinks between their "brain
dump" typing and clicking "send." One of my friends, after she says something
rude or inappropriate, smiles and says, "Oh, did I say that out loud?!" That's
because we all think rude and inappropriate things but generally don't say them
out loud. There's a filter between what we think and our mouths called being
polite.
Generally, this filter kicks in when we're looking someone in the eyes and
envision how they would respond and how others around us would respond if we
said what we really wish we could say. But when we sit in front of the computer,
there are no eyes to look into--just us and the computer monitor. And just as we
can say outrageous things in our diaries, typing them online seems private. It's
also fun to say things that you know you shouldn't say. Wouldn't it be really
cool to tell that office bully off? Or tell your boss how stupid you think he
is? Everyone has things they wish they could say. But, usually, when we break
the rules and say them, we wish we could take it all back.
But you can never really take it back. And when you send or post something
online, it lives on forever in archives, caching, and other places. Like the
Energizer bunny, it keeps on going and going and going.
At the least, wait 24 hours before you send a message you know has some large
potential repercussions. That may give you enough time to calm down and look at
the issue from a more rational perspective.
Write That Message, But Don't Ever Send It
If you've just got to get those thoughts out of your head, though, set up a file
on your computer (but not your workplace computer!)--a kind of "brain dump"
journal, where you can save things you wish you could say but know you
shouldn't. Sometimes, just writing them down is enough to make you feel better.
You can always go back and read what you wrote later and see how you feel about
it. Most of the time, you probably will be happy you never sent it. Sometimes,
you may forget what made you angry to begin with.
Parry Aftab is a cyberspace lawyer, specializing in online privacy and
security law, and she's also executive director of WiredSafety. She hosts the
Web site
aftab.com and blogs regularly at
theprivacylawyer.blogspot.com.
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Parry
Aftab, Esq., 
Marvel and
all character names and the distinctive likenesses thereof are trademarks of
Marvel Characters, Inc., and are used with permission. TM & © 2004 Marvel
Characters, Inc. All rights reserved. “Super Heroes” is a Co-owned registered
Trademark.